When adulthood is approaching

The past few weeks have been chaos, chaos in my head. Graduation (for the second time) is only two months away, and yet again, just like last year, the question “what next?” comes knocking on my door. A million scenarios have crossed my mind. The initial plan was to start an LLM degree in the UK in February 2018, but when I had a closer look at the financial picture I realized I would be losing more than gaining. So my plan, where my current degree was part of, suddenly got wiped away. I literally spent hours trying to adapt it, maybe I could study in the Netherlands, or in Germany… Although I’m quite a realistic person suddenly any possible scenario came to mind.

The problem I have is that I suck at making decisions. People try to help you with asking what you want, where do you see yourself working etc. Fact is I have no clue. I don’t know what I want. And that actually made me realize I’m looking way too much black and white at this. Why not go for grey? I started looking at vacancies and did my first interview this week. I’m trying to have an open mind towards everything, since my degree also offers a lot of different opportunities. I’ve decided that I will look for a temporary job, couple of months tops. If I like it or not, I will get to know my interests better and will have a taste of the ‘adult’ life.  I’ve also been exploring the opportunity to go to law school. I guess this is actually what I want, but I’m afraid I won’t make it and it’s still at least three tough years to go. Instead of doing the regular three years full time, I could mix it up a bit with working in between. I don’t need to rush things, I have time. So as soon as I hear more about possible jobs I will have to make a decision on all of this.

The point I want to get to with this random ramblings about yet another “what should I do I have no clue” phase of my life is that there isn’t really a bad choice to make. I feel like there is sort of a pressure in society that you need to know what you want when you’re not even an adult yet. In secondary school you need to choose what degree you are going to get. That’s an important choice since it determines the job you will need to be looking for right after. Honestly who already knows what job they want at 18? I always envied people who did, or seemed to. Then you go to college and maybe it’s not what you thought it would be at all, then you chose bad and that’s not good, you’re 1 year behind on the plan. I chose wrong when I was 18, and felt so bad about it. The second time I picked right, it appeared to be something I enjoyed…a lot.

So really I would like to hear your thoughts on this. What was the post-graduation like for you? Let me know, and sorry for the ramblings really.

26 thoughts on “When adulthood is approaching

  1. I usually look at this from three angles and try to find something that you:
    1. Are passionate about.
    2. Are motivated about. For example, you believe is going to make the world a better place in some way.
    3. Will enjoy the day-to-day activities.
    Good luck – try to clear your mind. Some meditation or long baths or long hikes may help.
    Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Honestly, I’m a 33 year old professional graphic designer with over a decade of experience under my belt, but I’m still asking myself those same questions. The question of if I’m doing the right thing, if I should make a change, what I should change to still plagues me all the time. The truth of the matter is that most of us are wandering around aimlessly just trying to figure it out. People often tell me they envy me because I seem to have it all together. I travel. I live by the beach. I do fun things on the weekends. But they don’t see the uncertainty. They don’t see the constant inner struggles. If I have one piece of advice to give, it’s to explore your options as much as possible before making any big decisions. Make sure you’re SURE before you do anything that might lock you into a situation or into student loan debt. Make sure it’s what you really want. Talk to people in different fields. Try different jobs. Read blogs and ask a lot of questions.
    Think about what you want most out of life. Is it freedom? Time? Money? Professional fulfillment? Does the career you are about to set yourself up for jive with what you want out of life?
    Just the two cents of someone who would do some things differently if she had hindsight and a time machine.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. As someone who has been attempting adulthood for a while, I can firmly tell you that adulthood is knowing when to admit that you don’t know something. Realistically you don’t have to know what you are going to do! This is exactly the time to try things out 🙂 I know it’s hard when you have a plan and then it seems to disappear but I don’t know of a single person yet whose plan actually came to fruition. Take it one step at a time and remember that everyone’s life is different!!

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  4. As far as I can remember, post graduation feels like “welcome to reality”, I look for a job right away because in the Philippines sometimes it’s a pressure to look for a job right after. Or atleast thats how i feel 😬

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Heheh, you are hearing from a pair of old …
    Anyway, the best advise we can give is this: whatever you decide upon, be aware that youth is an asset that withers away. In just a few short years.
    When we graduated, we took the conventional route – got married, bought a house.
    But then circumstance presented and we moved abroad…for many years. Working and traveling. That’s our story. Do you want that? If so, work towards it!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s true, there’s a lot of pressure on millennials to get it right first time. I initially wanted to study fashion design at university, as I absolutely loved Art and Textiles at school, making garments and other odds and ends in my free time etc. Then I got to university and hated it – so I switched to French. (I was lucky there were still spaces on the course!) I’m now hoping to go into publishing, or a related field, but wanted to spend some more time in France after my degree to further improve my French (hence why I’m currently working in Lyon). I’m in the middle of applying for jobs, but trying to keep an open mind to the possibilities! Good luck with your applications!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. After I graduated, I did a few random jobs and taught English abroad for a few years. I ended up strongly disliking it and went back to school. I’m working on PhD now because I still don’t know what to do. I better figure it out though because I can’t be a student forever. That’s probably not very encouraging, sorry…

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Post graduation is the best time… you are free from the shackles of classes and due dates, free to travel and work and earn while finding out what your life goal is. Embrace the chaos and things will fall into place!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi Emma! My advice… try not to put so much pressure on yourself. I know it is difficult. Try to live a bit more in the now. What do you need or want to do now/today? Do that unless or until it becomes something that no longer works for you. Then, re-evaluate. What one small change could I make tomorrow to improve my life going forward. In other words, don’t try to solve your life’s greatest challenges in one go. A series of small tweaks will keep you headed in the right direciton… and that’s all anyone can ask for. If and when you do look back, think of your past experiences as just that… experiences. Without them, you would not be the amazing person you are right now. You got this!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sounds like a quarter life crisis– Which is what i’m facing right now too. I don’t know what I want neither. It’s weird because everything is going really well for me. But I still feel stuck…Sigh.

    Liked by 1 person

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