The past few weeks have been chaos, chaos in my head. Graduation (for the second time) is only two months away, and yet again, just like last year, the question “what next?” comes knocking on my door. A million scenarios have crossed my mind. The initial plan was to start an LLM degree in the UK in February 2018, but when I had a closer look at the financial picture I realized I would be losing more than gaining. So my plan, where my current degree was part of, suddenly got wiped away. I literally spent hours trying to adapt it, maybe I could study in the Netherlands, or in Germany… Although I’m quite a realistic person suddenly any possible scenario came to mind.
The problem I have is that I suck at making decisions. People try to help you with asking what you want, where do you see yourself working etc. Fact is I have no clue. I don’t know what I want. And that actually made me realize I’m looking way too much black and white at this. Why not go for grey? I started looking at vacancies and did my first interview this week. I’m trying to have an open mind towards everything, since my degree also offers a lot of different opportunities. I’ve decided that I will look for a temporary job, couple of months tops. If I like it or not, I will get to know my interests better and will have a taste of the ‘adult’ life. I’ve also been exploring the opportunity to go to law school. I guess this is actually what I want, but I’m afraid I won’t make it and it’s still at least three tough years to go. Instead of doing the regular three years full time, I could mix it up a bit with working in between. I don’t need to rush things, I have time. So as soon as I hear more about possible jobs I will have to make a decision on all of this.
The point I want to get to with this random ramblings about yet another “what should I do I have no clue” phase of my life is that there isn’t really a bad choice to make. I feel like there is sort of a pressure in society that you need to know what you want when you’re not even an adult yet. In secondary school you need to choose what degree you are going to get. That’s an important choice since it determines the job you will need to be looking for right after. Honestly who already knows what job they want at 18? I always envied people who did, or seemed to. Then you go to college and maybe it’s not what you thought it would be at all, then you chose bad and that’s not good, you’re 1 year behind on the plan. I chose wrong when I was 18, and felt so bad about it. The second time I picked right, it appeared to be something I enjoyed…a lot.
So really I would like to hear your thoughts on this. What was the post-graduation like for you? Let me know, and sorry for the ramblings really.